One liners to get you laughing today…No matter how much you push the envelope, it’ll still be stationery.The maths teacher confiscated a rubber band slingshot in her class because it was a weapon of maths disruption.Where can men over the age of 60 find younger, sexy woman who are interested in them? Try a bookstore under fiction.I used to work with two guys named Alan Beatty and Neville Buist. The pair made a great “Beatty and the Buist”.Scientists say they have found the missing link – a little monkey. It lived on mostly twigs and berries, which makes it a direct ancestor of today’s supermodel.The anti-aging ad I’d like to see is a baby covered in cream saying,”Oh, I’ve used too much!”I keep my office cold. Just because my dreams have died, that doesn’t mean they shouldn’t be well preserved.“A good education is the next best thing to a pushy mother.