English humour. You may enjoy some…

  • :>>:yes:English humour-Really!!

    Son: “Dad, we’re learning about prisms at school. They’re fascinating.”
    Dad: “That’s good son, because as a dyslexic black boy, you’re bound to end up in one.”

    Paddy decides to take up boxing and goes for the required medical. A few days later the doctor ‘phones and says “Paddy, you realise you’ve got sugar diabetes.”
    Paddy says, “Nice one, when do I fight him?”

    It was hard getting over my addiction to the Hokey Cokey. But I’ve turned myself around and that’s what it’s all about.

    A Muslim bloke I work with was bragging he had the entire Koran on DVD. Being interested, I asked him to burn me a copy. Well, that’s when it all kicked off!

    Little boy gets home from school and says “Dad, I’ve got a part in the school play as a man who’s been married for 25 years.”His Dad replies “Never mind Son. Maybe next time you’ll get a speaking part!!”

    A dwarf goes to a very good but very busy doctor and asks “I know you are busy but do you treat dwarves?”The doctor replies “Yes, but you will have to be a little patient”.

    Police have just released details of a new drug craze that is being carried out in Yorkshire nightclubs. Apparently, Yorkshire club goers have started injecting Ecstasy just above their front teeth.Police say the dangerous practice is called “e by gum”
    …………………………………………………………………….
    A Yorkshire man takes his cat to the vet.
    Yorkshireman: “Ayup, lad, I need to talk to thee about me cat.”
    Vet: “Is it a tom?”
    Yorkshireman: “Nay, I’ve browt it with us.”
    …………………………………………………………………….
    A Yorkshireman’s dog dies and as it was a favourite pet he decides to have a gold statue made by a jeweller to remember the dog by.
    Yorkshireman: “Can tha mek us a gold statue of yon dog?”
    Jeweller: “Do you want it 18 carat?”
    Yorkshireman: “No I want it chewin’ a bone yer daft bugger!”
    …………………………………………………………………….
    The last is always best Bloke from Barnsley with piles asks chemist “Nah then lad, does tha sell arse cream?”
    Chemist replies “Aye, Magnum or Cornetto?

2 thoughts on “English humour. You may enjoy some…

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: